As always, Bcon2012 was more fun than I can recap without forgetting something, someone or some important something.

I learned that Mary Higgins Clark is tiny and adorable. Also, that if you wear too-high heels it’s hard to see her down there and you might nearly kill her in the bathroom. Luckily, I stopped well short of her, so I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a hit or restraining order out.

I learned that it’s possible to leave the lobby for lunch with 5-6 people and arrive at a restaurant as a party of 13. Yelling “Scottish Hooters” in a crowded square might be partially to blame. Being part of #sabrinasposse is mostly to blame. Related: Giant Ginger Ape is a serial massaging furry freak. Ginger Ape is a drink you can get at Todd Robinson’s bar.

I learned that Josh Stallings is not only a great guy with a big head, but loud enough not to need a microphone.

I learned Dan O’Shea’s jacket precedes him. Becomes him. Takes him on long walks by the beach.

I learned a lot about tattoos from Katrina Niidas Holm. I also learned it’s best not to cross her because she can get across a bar like a flying squirrel.

I learned about editing and beer from Tommy Pluck. I learned about coffee from Kent Gowran. I learned about bras from Christa Faust by way of Sabrina Ogden. I learned that pinstripe tights are a big hit. I also learned you can walk a long way in five-inch heels, but that crime fiction writers and fans go through a lot of ice. (If you walk that far in heels, youl’ll want to ice your old ankle injury,which is when you’ll realize there’s no ice in the hotel.)

I learned that people in Cleveland are much cleaner in their public restrooms than people in Florida — even the people in bowling alley basement bathrooms. Related, I learned that Clevelanders like to keep their bathrooms in basements at the end of dark hallways, which is creepy if you’re from a place without basements or if you work with a lot of sex offenders or if you have a mother obsessed with all the bad that can happen in the world.

I learned Holly West is charming, her husband is equally charming, Erin Mitchell is adorable, Glenn Gray is generous, Johnny Shaw is a big dude — well, #sabrinasposse is made of big dudes, in general, — Joe Myers is not the same as Joe Meyers, but he can play him on TV (not really).

I learned a lot of gossip that I dare not repeat. Mostly about the size of…

I learned Hilary Davidson packs using Harry Potter in a Tardis.

Basically, I met a lot of cool people. I hung out with a lot of cool people. I wore a lot of ridiculous shoes. I drank a lot of beer and coffee. I ate a lot of veggies. (Speaking of, The Flaming Ice Cube was AWESOME and, related, I also learned Joe Myers is Human Google Maps.)

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