How to talk to a woman wearing headphones

Don’t.

 

Seriously, just don’t.

 

By all means, don’t get in her personal space, waving your hands in her face, and smiling like a serial killer hopped up on cough syrup. Even the woman in the stock photo they used looks like she’s only smiling back at the creeper in hopes he’ll run out of things to say about himself and wander off talking to a tree with a nice figure.

The only exceptions:

  • She’s about to be hit by a bus or a tornado or some other fatal thing that you need to get her attention to prevent.
  • She’s Judy, the lady in your cubicle farm is still bent over work two minutes before the mandatory staff meeting and you know, because she’s your friend, she can’t miss another one without getting into trouble.
  • She’s Linda, your wife, asked you to let her know when you were going to bed or leaving for the gym or taking the kids to the park.
  • She’s Amy, your running partner, likes to keep her volume low so the two of you can chat while you workout.
  • She’s some other woman who is a friend, a lover, a spouse, a coworker you need for work reasons and you need her attention because you’ve bought tickets to see her favorite band, you’ve made dinner and it’s going to get cold, it’s time to hand out bonuses in the main lobby. Then she isn’t the “woman” wearing¬†headphones; she’s [insert name of person because you know her].

Look, people wear headphones because they don’t want to be bothered. Because they want to listen to music and podcasts and books and white noise apps without interference. Because they want to work or commute or think or run without being interrupted. Because it’s a clear sign they’re unavailable. Because it’s like a billboard that says, “NO, MOVE ON.”

Take the hint.

Don’t.